A: It’s very important to discuss and resolve one issue at a time. When you try to resolve many different things at a time, it can be overwhelming and it makes it impossible to find workable solutions. If you make sure to set aside time every week, or possibly twice a week, to discuss conflicts, you will have the time you need to work through one issue at a time. Sue and Harry were handling their conflicts better. They had set aside time to discuss differences, and they were better at using the word “I” to communicate their needs. But sometimes they would lose focus during an argument. Sue wanted Harry to clean the kitchen table after he was done eating, and asked him to do so. But just as he was about to agree, she began listing several other “dirty kitchen” issues that were bothering her. When she was on her fifth request, Harry lost patience and walked away. She had lost focus and had lost her husband’s attention by bombarding him with too much at once. Sue learned her lesson, and the next week she only brought up the kitchen table. This illustrates another benefit of the weekly discussion sessions. A planned time gives you another chance to work through a problem. Harry agreed, and Sue saved her other grievances for another time.
