That’s right, the age-old screen time debate has been given new life during this pandemic, as many parents have increasingly turned to screens for all sorts of entertainment and educational opportunities for their kids. A study released in the Journal of Children and Media takes a look at the intersection of parental stress (of which there’s plenty) and screen time (of which there’s also plenty) to see how stress plays a role in whether and how mothers and fathers set screen time limits.

Parental Differences

The study finds that when mothers are stressed out, they’re more likely to hand the little ones a device and send them on their way. Stressed-out dads, on the other hand, tend to lower the hammer and set more stringent limits on screens. This makes sense when you consider that, in hetero households, moms spend about twice as much time managing the kids than dads do. “Typically, mom is juggling more, in which case she’s also more likely to use screens to get the kids out of her hair while she manages the rest of whatever is going on,” says Dawn Friedman, MSEd, a private practice therapist in Ohio. “When dads are stressed, they generally want to soothe their anxiety by creating more control. So they are more apt to take away phones or other screens," says Friedman. But when you add a global pandemic into the mix, with to be closed and stay-at-home orders, it’s only natural that limits on screen time are much more likely to go out the window.

Screen Time: How Much is Too Much? 

Parents, take a deep breath and relax. Give yourself grace and simply focus on getting through the day. And know that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is on your side. This year, the organization issued somewhat relaxed screen time limits, recommending daily time limits only for children five and under. For older kids, the AAP recommends that you encourage other activities, monitor usage, and engage with them during media use. Indeed, the AAP stresses that “when used inappropriately or without thought, media can displace many important activities such as face-to-face interaction, family-time, outdoor-play, exercise, unplugged downtime and sleep.” That’s why Friedman recommends teaching kids to self-regulate when it comes to using screens of all kinds. “Rather than feeling guilty and stressed out about using screens to keep your kids busy, help your kids connect to how the screens are making them feel so they can learn to self-regulate. This is a useful skill in non-pandemic times, too, because ultimately we want to raise kids who can manage the reality of screens, which will only grow more ubiquitous.”

The Pandemic Changes Everything

Since the start of the pandemic, screens have been used for everything from connecting with grandparents to chatting with friends, attending online book clubs and church services, virtual soccer practice, and of course, school. Pretty much every aspect of a child’s life before the pandemic has moved online, which for the most part, is a good thing!  This is something parents should consider before setting too many screen time limits during a pandemic. “These are unique times, and we’ll have plenty of opportunities to get back to normal and adjust as needed. In the meantime, we can be grateful that screens give us the opportunity to connect with our friends and family even when we have to be apart,” says Friedman. 

Setting Guidelines for Media Use

Instead of letting stress get the best of you and banning the kids from their devices, work together to set guidelines that everyone agrees on before it becomes a problem. And don’t forget to discuss the consequences with your kids. Although it’s totally fine to relax the rules a bit during the pandemic, it’s still healthy to establish boundaries and enforce consequences if basic rules aren’t followed. The information in this article is current as of the date listed, which means newer information may be available when you read this. For the most recent updates on COVID-19, visit our coronavirus news page. Parental Smartphone Use Spikes During COVID-19 Pandemic