The first step is to engage in self-disclosure, commonly referred to as revealing one’s personal and innermost feelings. Examples are dreams, fears, goals, insecurities, and joys. Sharing these private realms of oneself does make the individual vulnerable to the reactions of someone else. However, Shauna L. Smith, author of Making Peace with your Adult Daughters (Perseus, 1991), says it makes you more human—and I believe, more approachable! The big qualifier is that self-disclosure has to be a two-way street to lead to real intimacy and understanding. From this expression of self-disclosure comes intimacy that enhances closeness between mother and daughter. And along with mutual disclosure and understanding there develops a mature level of interdependence that is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. The following diagram provides you with a visual model of how this marvelous cycle begins, continues, and grows on its own volition once set into motion.
