Respect is a key component of assertiveness, but truly assertive behavior is not just about encouraging respectful behavior from others; it’s also about demonstrating respect in your dealings with them. One of the benefits of taking the time to think about a personal bill of rights is that it also gives children clear guidelines as to how they can conduct themselves in ways that respect other people’s rights, too. When your child has come up with five to ten principles that he is happy with, take the time to type or write them out neatly. Perhaps you can even frame the document and put it up somewhere he will see it every day. Encourage your child to approach this task in his own way, but if the bill is to function as a useful benchmark for assertive behavior, it should probably include some of the following principles:
I have a right: To say what I think To express my feelings and wishes To be treated with respect To live my life without being bullied or manipulated To be myself To stick up for my rights To respect the rights of others To use my talents and abilities To choose how I respond to other people
Keep in mind that the process of becoming more assertive and finding the delicate point between confidence and aggression is one that children can take a while to perfect. Sometimes the situations they encounter on the playground can challenge even the most assertive individual. Be on hand to provide extra support and coaching when needed.
