Even if you’re being forced to go along with this form of child custody when it wasn’t exactly your top choice, these unexpected perks can be pretty convincing. While these side benefits should never be the primary reason to choose joint physical custody, they’re worth considering if you’re having trouble looking on the bright side of a court-ordered joint custody arrangement. Just don’t fall into the trap of relying on the age-old “Wait until I tell your mother” (or father) mantra. The point is to bolster your natural parental authority, not weaken it. Once you’ve arrived at a predictable routine, take advantage of the fact that knowing in advance which days the kids will be with you will force you to plan ahead, too. For instance, you’ll know which day of the week is best to meet up with a friend for coffee or go out for drinks after work with your coworkers. Even if joint custody isn’t what you would have preferred, you can still take advantage of your family’s new, automatic built-in schedule. Why? Because needs pop up organically. Someone’s always asking for poster board for a school project, a check to cover the next field trip, snacks to bring to soccer practice … and the list goes on. When your kids are with your ex on his/her assigned days, you can anticipate that your ex will likely be absorbing those incidental costs. That’s not to say that you should plan for your kids to announce that they need a $400 check for the eighth-grade overnight trip while they’re with your ex, because large expenses should still be shared or handled in the same way you handle other child-related expenses. But for the small stuff, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll each handle the costs at the moment, as they arise.
