Some parents may be confused at first if their child starts liking non-tradtional “boy” or “girl” toys and hobbies. But it’s important to understand and support kids as they discover who they are, rather than try to change them to fit a specific mold. Many children are used to conforming to gender norms because they are raised to think that is “the right way.” It is important to encourage kids to live authentically as whoever they choose to be. And many kids will take a while to discover their identity; that’s just part of growing up! For families who may be confused about what it means to be transgender or to not define yourself as any one gender at all, there are far more resources around these topics now to help you understand better. Below is a list of some of the best books about non-binary and transgender children, and characters who are discovering their gender identity without specific boundries. There are several options for different age groups from pre-k (ages 2-4) to grades 6 and 7 (ages 12 and up).
Our Top Picks
Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall When Aidan Became a Brother by Kyle Lukoff My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis I Am Jazz by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky
Books for 2 to 4 Year Olds
This is a book about a young boy who enjoys expressing himself through his sparkly dresses and princess tiara. The character of Dyson is based on the author’s son and explores what it means to be you without judgment. It’s a great picture book for toddlers and preschoolers because it is easy to understand. The message that this book gives young readers is that color doesn’t define gender. Boys can wear pink and play with “girl” toys. It encourages parents and children to break gender stereotypes by teaching them that they can do what they love. This story follows the character Errol and his best friend, Thomas. Thomas is a boy teddy and Errol discovers that he really wants to be a girl teddy and changes his name to Tilly. Errol wants Tilly to be whoever they want them to be because he loves her either way. It’s no secret that many children feel stuck because of typical gender roles. Jacob loves playing dress-up but the other children at school tell him that he can’t wear dresses because he isn’t a girl. This story has the difficult conversation of being your true self despite what society says is right and wrong.
Books for 4 to 8 Year Olds
This board book dives right into the topic of gender identity. It uses ways to describe how your physical traits don’t always define your gender and how to navigate the conversation with others. It is informative and full of pictures. Red has a red label but the color of the crayon is blue. The whole story is about the crayon’s family and friends trying to convince him that he is red by making him draw red things. He just wants to be blue. This children’s book teaches your little one that it is okay to be you even if it’s hard. This story follows a trans boy named Aidan. He is gearing up to become a big brother and figuring out how to transition into having a sibling while also navigating their new life as a boy. This is a story about the real-life experience of author Jazz Jennings, a transgender girl. She learns all sorts of new things about herself and talks about the obstacles she faces with being transgender. It is a heartwarming story about a child struggling with their gender identity. This is another story about the real-life experience of the author Jodie Patterson’s son Penelope. He was born a girl but knows that he was meant to be a boy. Your child can follow along in his journey and learn how important it is to embrace who you really are. This book teaches little ones that it’s okay to not know what your pronouns are right away. Sometimes it takes looking inside yourself to figure out who you want to be. This story surrounds a little boy names Casey who loves glittery and sparkly things just like his older sister Jessie. Jessie isn’t as accepting as the rest of their family at first because she has been taught that those things are only meant for girls. When she sees Casey being picked on, she realizes that he has every right to be himself. This is a great book about acceptance. The authors are mother and daughter duo Trinity and DeShanna and they share their own experiences of Trinity coming out as transgender. Her mother buys her a rainbow wig to show her that she can live as who she is and will always be loved.
Books for 8 to 12 Year Olds
Todd Parr wrote this book to help teach children that expressing themselves is a good thing. They should live as who they are, wear what they want to wear, and do what they want to do. Nothing is more important than embracing your true self. Little Morris loves playing dress-up at school and he especially loves wearing the tangerine dress. The other boys don’t quite understand and tell him that he isn’t welcome to play spaceships with them. His mother keeps him home from school one day since Morris didn’t want to deal with teasing. He lets his imagination run wild after having a dream and decides that he can play and be whatever he chooses. This book is an interesting take on gender identity, Ana is a figure skater who doesn’t enjoy frilly outfits. She meets Hayden who is a transgender boy and when he makes her for a boy, she starts to question who she wants to be. This is a graphic novel about two boys who change their identities to escape an attack and become two girls. One of them wants to eventually return to his old life while the other wants to continue to live freely as a transgender girl. If you are looking for an inspiring story about a child that struggles to live as they are, then this is a great book option. Todd loves to dive and discovered a secret mermaid world underwater. He realizes he wants to be a mermaid but worries no one will accept him and support him if he was.
12 Years Old and Up
For even more information on teaching kids about diversity and acceptance check out: How to Raise a Tolerant, Prejudice Free Kid. Maya Gonzalez opens up the conversation on gender among children with this book. It talks about the binary gender system and how it is human nature for all bodies and genders to be different and beyond just the traditional “boy” and “girl.” Stonewall award-winning author Alex Gino wrote this book about a boy named George who was born a boy but desperately wants to live as a girl because that is who they are meant to be, named Melissa. To try out in the school play as Charlotte in Charlotte’s Web, Melissa cooks up a plan with her best friend Kelly to not only try out for the part but to show everyone who she truly is. Grayson may have been born a boy, but he is really a girl on the inside. He keeps it a secret to prevent teasing but it is a huge burden that makes him feel lonely. He makes a new friend and seeks guidance from a teacher so they can come out of the shadows and be themselves.
